8.11.2017

I am Tired. I Wanna Rest.

Have you ever encountered a moment when you were accused of doing something you really didn't do with conviction, like they're 100000% sure you did it w/o even hearing your side or knowing what happened?

Have you ever thought that maybe things were better if you just did what they accused you of rather than defending yourself from them all?

Have you ever felt that it seems you're still trying to prove to everyone that you've grown up, that you are already adulting your way, and that you are not that stupid to do such things when you have far more impt. thing in mind?

I did. And it sucks. Big time!

Seems that no matter how hard I try to do better things in life, the not-so-good ones stay for good.

As if you will never redeem yourself out of it. Ever.

I've been trying to make myself better, to mature visibly, slowly but surely, for myself, first and foremost, and that for the people in my circles.

However, why, for God's sake, are there people who keep on judging me based on what I've done in the past and not think of the other possibilities that I could have in the present?

I am getting more and more sick of this, of this life, if things like this continue to roll up their way to me.

The very person that should know me best can't even show her trust and faith in me, so probably do the others too.

Why do I have to defend muself when I literally did nothing wrong? Why do I have to be accused of something I haven't thought of doing, not even a bit of that idea came into me?

I'm tried from work every single day but this issue just drained the remaining energy out of my life charge. I haven't felt this tired even if I rendered OTs in the office for an ave. of 15 hrs per week.

I am crying silently in my room, with no one to tall to.

The only comfort that I have right now is being provided by my bed, pillows, and blanket.

I don't know what to feel, think, and do anymore.

I'm getting tired of proving myself to everyone, esp to that person.

I am tired.

I just wanna rest.

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