No one has ever seen the tears behind the smiles.
No one has ever been there to console nor to condone.
No one has... and no one will.
I want to do something, something that is not normal; something that I want to do because I love it; something that I want to share to the world.
Why can't people understand that I am not all about the licenses, the paper works, and the numbers.
I am meant for something.
And that is something I want to work out on.
You see, my first love is Law yet it is something I do not want to pursue as of this moment.
If ever I get to study, it's gotta be Asian Studies, or to be more specific, Japanese Studies.
I really want to learn more about the Japanese Culture.
If not now, when? If I don't do it now, when?
I have been in a number of crossroads and this has been always my question to myself: Am I happy with the way my life goes, provided that I am stuck in the office, doing something that I am not enjoying at all?
The answer is no.
There has been so many road blocks, so many detours, yet I always go back to Point 0: Point of Regret.
I regretted that I didn't inquire about Asian Studies; I regretted not taking an entrance exam to colleges that offer it; I regretted that I didn't push through with it despite the fact that I do not want to continue studying Accountancy yet I was able to finish it.
Leave the regrets behind. I am now here and I do not want to waste time thinking hard.
Since I am self-studying Nihonggo since High school and due to the fact that I lack practice, I end up remembering the most basic words that I could know. I tested my Nihonggo skills last year during our trip in Japan and I admit that I speak so broke. That was the time I fully decided to take up the challenge of studying Nihonggo and take up JLPT no matter what it takes.
It just hurts me a lot that people who I thought will support me doesn't support me at all, saying hurtful words not just about me but about everything.
If no one will support me in my endeavors, I just have to support myself then.