2.26.2014

This Dream and These Feelings

I had this weird dream this morning, woke up to it and then took a few more minutes of sleep. Yet I can't forget what happened in my dream.

It was a very vivid one, with all the people and the incidents happened on it. The weird part is, I was with someone famous.

Before I started retelling my dream, I was having all these weird feelings last night that I ended up bursting them out through my tears. Good thing my eyes were not that swollen or eyes I would have used my eyeglasses even though it is raining.

I had these weird questions in my head that I don't want to confide to anyone but myself. I slept with eyes covered with tears. All sorts of realization came upon me and I shed more tears. Sad but real.

Now to start of my dream, I was a friend to a famous cosplayer, but seems more of a sister than a friend. I was with Alodia Gosiengfiao in my dream, that I was like her best friend or sister or something. For short, I was with her all the time, during her shoots, her break time. She confided me as I confide on her. A very typical set-up for girl friends.

A lot of things happened in my dream, like her having problems with her costumes or appointments or fan services. Also family problems were present. 

There was this one incident that she insisted on servicing her fans by having them lined-up. A few minutes later she got a call then a sudden change of mood appeared on her, saying that she can't cater the fan signs anymore then pulled me out instantly. As she did this, tears began filling up her eyes as we run towards our car. And then she breaks down to me. I consoled her, asking her details as to why she began running away from her fans and then she told them to me in full.

There was this one scene also where we almost got into an accident yet she just remained calm and composed, as if she's accepting her fate already.

I can't reveal some more details in my dreams. Words are not cooperative this time that I can't expressed what I saw through them.

I don't know why of all people, I dreamt of her and being with her. Honestly, she knows me as someone who helped her during her visit in the RX booth last year but aside from that, nothing else.

I have this feeling that my dream was related to the questions I asked myself last night. You see, I posted in my FB account a status that says 'I'm good in supporting others yet I'm not to myself' [this is the translation in English since I posted it in Filipino]. Even in my dream I was supporting someone rather than someone support me. I don't know, I guess I really have no one to support me. None at all.

I tweeted something last night before passing out as a hint for someone, for anyone who cares for me yet I didn't receive any response. I guess I'm just merely someone that they know.

So much for the feelings that I have inside.

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