11.18.2009

i'm starting to write in blood. part 1

this is not the usual blog that i'll be posting. it's connected with the book i'm reading on.

i just bought awhile ago a book by Bo Sanchez entitled Your Past Does Not Define Your Future. i got curious about it for something in the past were making an internal dispute with me.

i started reading it and guess what, i am almost half through with it.

this blogging is part of the 2nd half of the bok. it is more of self-realizations and honesty to oneself. and i really really need those two.

i'll blog it part by part. i'll answer each of the questions 'coz it won't do the healing if i do the short-cut one.


Start when you were born...

i was born in a clinic on the morning of feburary 7, 1990 but the attending physician was sleeping. it was my father who literally caught me when i went out from my mom's womb. i don't just get the reason why the physician was sleeping at that time to think my mom was in labor.

i didn't accept those facts at first. i wanted a normal delivery wherein you're in a hospital with nurses attending you. but it was really the other way around.

the clinic was the physician's. it was in namayan, mandaluyong. near the oil depot of small players in the industry. i don't know how did my mom meet dr. gan.

when i was out in the world, both of my parents, including my lola may, thought that i was a HE. the main reason is that i have this fat private part that they thought it was the male's. then when they found out that i was a SHE, they became so happy.

the normal babies would weight around 6-7 pounds. but i was no normal back then. i was a 8-pound baby! that's why i have this baby fats in me. hehe. :D due to my fatness, all the baby dresses that my mom had used for my older brothers didn't fit me. the only baby dress that did was that of a one-year old. i'm so big for a day-old baby. hahaha!

as i stumble upon old pictures of mine, i found out that i have only few CUTE baby pics. it was more of my kuyas'. that's why i felt jealous of them. it is as if they have more attention when they were babies than i was during that time. i f i have some, i could see them with me. but me on a solo pic? more often than not.

i just knew that i was special to my lola may, though i was not the first girl grandchild. i just don't know. i have this special connection with her. every time that my mom's out, i would look for her. even when i was already studying. i was always looking for her. maybe i grew up with her on my side always. but i somehow managed to learn living without her when she went back to bicol.

i was not that satisfied with my birth date. it was already in the month of love yet i wasn't born on the heart's day itself. it was barely 7 days to go when i went out. then whenever i searched about the events happened on my day, only few were found. that's why i really hoped that my day was somehow special.



so there you are. the first part of the writing in blood series. i just hope i could do this every night before i sleep. it'll be a habit for me from now on. as Bo Sanchez had said, answering these questions could take days,w eeks, or even months. but it's ok for as long as you answered them truthfully, then you will be from your bondage.

:)

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